Summer Endings, New Beginnings

I feel guilty for ignoring my blog for the entire month of July. I just haven't made time for it. I've been sleeping/working/traveling/actually watching television, but not writing. I will be back in full force, though, because a lot of my shows are about to kick off their new seasons. I've already made a calendar of premiere dates! (Really. I do that kind of thing.)

When I'm at school, I watch most of my tv alone. I hope that doesn't sound like a pity party because it's not! I like having that time to myself. I've always got a few projects going with some of my friends, as well as weekly tv dates to watch Chuck or The Office or whatever. But I spend more time watching by myself, whether it be old favorite episodes or new stuff for my own television education (Learning is a lifelong process. I wonder if I will ever make it through my "Shows to Watch" list...?)

This summer, however, I have been less self-indulgent. I'm still not finished with Six Feet Under because I wasn't willing to watch even an episode every day. Almost all of what I've watched has been time spent with my family and friends.

So that's it for the explanation part of this post. Here's what I've been watching. But first! My Emmy dream ballot, as previously promised. I didn't choose 6 for each category because I know there are deserving shows out there that I have yet to see (Breaking Bad, In Treatment, etc.), so I leave slots open for them. A star indicates a place where the dream was a reality on the nominations list.

BEST DRAMA SERIES

Battlestar Galactica

*Lost

*Mad Men

True Blood

*Dexter

BEST COMEDY SERIES

*The Office

*How I Met Your Mother

Chuck

*Flight of the Conchords

The Big Bang Theory

BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights

Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice

*Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Edward James Olmos, Battlestar Galactica

*Jon Hamm, Mad Men

BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica

Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights

*Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men

Anna Paquin, True Blood

*Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY

*Steve Carell, The Office

Zachary Levi, Chuck

*Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies

Ken Marino, Party Down

BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies

Yvonne Strahovski, Chuck

*Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA

*Michael Emerson, Lost

Josh Holloway, Lost

*John Slattery, Mad Men

Michael Hogan, Battlestar Galactica

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Elizabeth Mitchell, Lost

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica

Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY

*Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother

*Rainn Wilson, The Office

John Krasinski, The Office

Chi McBride, Pushing Daisies

Adam Baldwin, Chuck

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Jenna Fischer, The Office

Cobie Smulders, How I Met Your Mother

Jane Lynch, Party Down

*Kristen Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies

A few notes:

-It is truly pathetic that the Academy cannot bring itself to nominate genre shows like Battlestar Galactica. They are closing themselves off to some of the greatest work in television.

-I will probably end up watching the awards ceremony, if only to see Neil Patrick Harris as the host. With Jeremy Piven out of the running, I feel pretty confident that he will finally win for his portrayal of Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother. Also, I like Michael Emerson's chances. Ben is a badass.

-As long as Two and a Half Men is still getting nominated for anything, the Emmys lacks all credibility as a serious merit system.

-I realize that 30 Rock is better than I give it credit for- and I hope that one day I change my mind- but I just don't like it. So that's why I don't include it.

-The most criminal omissions on this list- Mary McDonnell as Laura Roslin. Connie Britton as Tami Taylor. Elizabeth Mitchell as Juliet Burke. Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse. Where is the love for these stunning actresses?

So You Think You Can Dance- This was a special time for me, my mom, and my sister every week. We watched certain dances over and over ("Calle Ocho"! "Hush, Hush"! "Mad"!), voting hundreds of times for our favorites: Ade, Brandon, Janette, Jeanine, and Kayla. By the Top 8, we were all united behind one dancer- Jeanine. And she won!! Very fun and exciting. And now we don't have to wait until next summer to see more entertainment provided by those rockin' judges/choreographers/dancers/towering British hosts

named Cat Deeley. Season 6 premieres at the beginning of September. From what Adam Shankman has been tweeting about the auditions, it seems like we will be seeing insane amounts of talent.

Burn Notice- The first half of Season 3 concluded with an intense episode for Fiona. After fighting for several weeks with Michael over his dogged efforts to clear his burn notice and get back into the intelligence community, Fiona decided that she couldn't stay in Miami anymore. But an enemy from her past in Ireland came to hunt her down. Michael realized what was most important to him when Fiona's life was in danger. There were many touching moments between the two of them, without them explicitly stating their feelings (which would, of course, change the very nature of their relationship). So this does not imply that Michael is no longer trying to be a spy, but I think he will not be willing to do so "whatever the cost," as his attitude has been up to this point. This season has contained some of the best episodes of the entire show, although I don't think it has overall been as good as Season 2 and the Management/Carla storyline. The Detective Paxson investigation into Michael's activities never posed an effective threat and, as a result, was not a real source of conflict for him. After that situation went away, the rest of the episodes contained only small elements of forward plot movement, with Michael trying to find contacts in the spy business who could help him get back in. The cliffhanger involved the death of his main contact, so that should provide some momentum when Season 3 resumes in January.

The Closer- Episodes so far have been consistent but not extraordinary. I'm not unhappy with them, I just haven't found any standouts. Brenda's grieving over her cat lasted too long. From there, things have shifted to a new houseguest for Brenda and Fritz: her teenage niece, Charlie, who had become too difficult for her parents and grandparents to deal with. Played by Kyra Sedgwick's own daughter, Sosie Bacon, Charlie is bringing out Brenda's maternal instincts. She needs to have a baby already!! Fritz would be such a good daddy. I'm looking forward to an episode that touches my heart. One always comes. Maybe it will be the one that brings back creepy lawyer rapist. I've never seen Brenda as terrified of someone as she is of him, even crazy woman burner, Billy Kroelig.

Nurse Jackie- With only 1 episode remaining in Season 1 (actually, 2 have yet to air, but for some reason, Showtime OnDemand puts up the next week's episode), I officially like this show. Moral ambiguity fascinates me (see: Dexter) because it explores people's complex motivations. Jackie Peyton is a nurse who cares for her patients. After all her years at that job, she still gets emotionally invested. She will do anything necessary to work the system to help her patients. At times, this means doing something illegal. Jackie is deeply concerned for her family. She is also deeply concerned for her boyfriend, Eddie. And for her drug habit. My absolute favorite aspect of this show, and what sets it apart from any other hospital show I have seen, is that it always manages to find the humor in a very serious world. Hospitals are centers of pain, tragedy, and misfortune. But these people do not allow themselves to be darkened by it. They work within it and maintain their optimism. Nurse Jackie is a drama. Yet, I am constantly laughing. Like when Dr. O'Hara steals Zoe's stethoscope and finds great amusement in watching the timid nursing student try to get it back. Like when Jackie's adorable daughter Fiona (played by Daisy Tahan) says ANYTHING. Like when the sweet and oblivious Zoe tries to hug Jackie. Like when bureaucratic administrator Ms. Akalitus grows attached to an abandoned baby and then pretends that the baby is dead when the irresponsible parents try to reclaim their child. Like when Peter Facinelli's Dr. Cooper acts like a little boy (which is all the time). Good show. I'm looking forward to seeing how they do a season finale next week.

True Blood- Saving the best for last! An awesome development: I have started writing for the True Blood fansite, www.truebloodnet.com, as a contributor of news articles related to the show and the people involved with it. The show itself is 8 episodes in to Season 2, and it just keeps getting crazier and better with each week. Sookie and Bill traveled to Dallas at Eric's behest to find out what happened to the Sheriff of Area 9, Godric.

There they met with the Dallas vampire-cowboys, who were convinced that the Fellowship of the Sun Church was responsible. Stan, the leader of the nest in Godric's absence, wanted to go into the church, guns a-blazin'. (Isabel: "Vampire-hating church annihilated. Wonder who did it? Brilliant.") Sookie offered to go to the FOTS posing as someone interested in joining their congregation. She would listen in on people's thoughts and discover the truth about Godric. Isabel knew how worried Bill was about Sookie's safety, so she sent her own human, Hugo, to accompany Sookie on her undercover mission. Problem was-

Steve Newlin knew exactly who Sookie was when she got there, so he locked her in the basement. And Bill sensed that she was in danger. But he couldn't get to her because stupid Eric summoned Bill's Maker, Lorena, to keep him occupied so that he could save Sookie himself. Just as she was about to be attacked by one of Newlin's goons, Godric stepped in to protect her. Then Eric came to Godric (his Maker, from the Viking period), who instructed him to get Sookie out. Newlin was arming his people for a war, which very nearly happened when Bill finally got away from Lorena and made it to the church, followed closely by Stan and the other Dallas vampires. But Godric kept the peace. They all returned to Godric's lair, where Lorena confronted Sookie (Cat fight! It made me very happy to see Sookie get so defensive about her man. Go Team Bill!), Jason apologized to Bill and Sookie for being such an idiot, and Luke from the FOTS brought in a bomb of silver chains and tiny wooden stakes...To be continued after the next episode.

Meanwhile, Jessica made a love connection ever with Hoyt Fortenberry. Too

cute for words!

Maryann has been exercising a powerful control over the citizens of Bon Temps. Wild parties that turn into drunken orgies with demonic black eyes and lots of violence. She is cra-azy. Tara and Eggs are unable to resist her influence, even though they both feel suspicious about the circumstances in which they find themselves. Wake up, morons!

Maryann has a strange fixation on Sam. Like, she wants to eat his heart. She used shapeshifter Daphne to seduce him and then killed her when she was unable to deliver her prey. Sam is definitely going to start fighting back soon! And so is Sookie, when she gets back from her trip and learns what has been going on in her town.

In other True Blood news, Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin are engaged! I am so excited and happy for them. Sookie and Bill 4-eva, no matter what Eric does! I'm not ready for them to break up on the show, even though I know that's where things are headed because stupid Charlaine Harris made Bill a stupid jerk in the books and made Sookie start jumping from man to man like a big stupid ho. I'm speaking out of anger... I love this show.

My television schedule for the fall:

SUNDAY- Desperate Housewives, Mad Men, Brothers & Sisters, Dexter

MONDAY- House, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, Castle

TUESDAY- Sons of Anarchy

WEDNESDAY- So You Think You Can Dance

THURSDAY- Bones, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, So You Think You Can Dance results show

FRIDAY- Dollhouse

New shows I will be checking out:

Flash Forward on ABC, Community on NBC, Glee on Fox

Saying Bye to the Emmys

Feel free to disregard my previous post about how I still care about the Emmys. I no longer do, and here are the reasons why:

1) Mary McDonnell was not nominated for Battlestar. Those Academy voters are lame Sci-Fi haters. Well, guess what, Academy?! I hate you!

2) Two and a Half Men got 7 nominations.

3) Marcia Cross got snubbed. Again.

4) The lack of Friday Night Lights anywhere on this list makes me sick. Kyle Chandler was overlooked, and yet 3-time winner James Spader was nominated. Okay, first of all, I still don't think Boston Legal should be in the Drama category. And secondly, we get the message. Why don't you marry James Spader if you love him so much?!

I wish the best of luck to Michael Emerson, Kyra Sedgwick, Rainn Wilson, and everyone from John Adams. If winning this award is important to you guys, I hope you get it. As for me, I am shunning the Emmys forever. (Shunning...It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence.)

For anyone who cares to see the list of nominees, here it is:

COMEDY SERIES
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
The Office
30 Rock
Two and a Half Men

ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men

ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Rainn Wilson, The Office

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Jean Smart, Samantha Who?
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Will Arnett, 30 Rock
Shelley Berman, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Steve Buscemi, 30 Rock
Tim Conway, 30 Rock
Rip Torn, 30 Rock

GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Polly Bergen, Desperate Housewives
Edie Falco, 30 Rock
Carrie Fisher, 30 Rock
Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives
Sarah Silverman, Monk
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock

DRAMA SERIES
Boston Legal
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
James Spader, Boston Legal

ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Glenn Close, Damages
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Ted Danson, Damages
Michael Emerson, Lost
Zeljko Ivanek, Damages
William Shatner, Boston Legal
John Slattery, Mad Men

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy

GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Charles Durning, Rescue Me
Robert Morse, Mad Men
Oliver Platt, Nip/Tuck
Stanley Tucci, ER
Glynn Turman, In Treatment
Robin Williams, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Ellen Burstyn, Big Love
Diahann Carroll, Grey's Anatomy
Sharon Gless, Nip/Tuck
Anjelica Huston, Medium
Cynthia Nixon, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

MINISERIES
The Andromeda Strain
Cranford
John Adams
Tin Man

MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE
Bernard and Doris
Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale
The Memory Keeper’s Daughter
A Raisin In The Sun
Recount

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR A MOVIE
Ralph Fiennes, Bernard And Doris
Ricky Gervais, Extras
Paul Giamatti, John Adams
Kevin Spacey, Recount
Tom Wilkinson, Recount

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR A MOVIE
Judi Dench, Cranford
Catherine Keener, An American Crime
Laura Linney, John Adams
Phylicia Rashad, A Raisin in the Sun
Susan Sarandon, Bernard And Doris

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Bob Balaban, Recount
Stephen Dillane, John Adams
Denis Leary, Recount
David Morse, John Adams
Tom Wilkinson, John Adams

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Eileen Atkins, Cranford
Laura Dern, Recount
Ashley Jensen, Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale
Audra McDonald, A Raisin in the Sun
Alfre Woodard, Pictures Of Hollis Woods

Hoping for the Best: The 2008 Emmy Awards

In spite of last year's pathetic excuse for Emmys, I cannot help but care about the outcomes this year. It would take at least one more year of glaring omissions from the nominations and ridiculous results for the winners to make me stop placing any value in the most prestigious award show for my favorite medium. Every year, I enjoy watching the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and the Screen Actors' Guild Awards, but the greatest hope I have for my beloved television shows/actors/writers/producers/etc., is that they be recognized for their achievements by the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. For some reason, those awards hold the most weight. So even though the 2007 Emmys were the most disgraceful spectacle I have ever beheld, I anxiously await the Fall, knowing that not every one of my favorites will end up winning but hoping that excellence will be championed.

One sign that perhaps my hope is not futile: the press release from the ATAS this week revealing their shortlists for the Best Comedy and Drama categories. Obviously this is not the final list of nominees - these will be whittled down to 5- but for the first time ever, it looks like The Wire might have a shot at winning. The critically-acclaimed HBO show throws a spotlight on a group of Baltimore cops trying to infiltrate a drug ring, as well as the criminals on the other side, addressing social and economic issues in the process. After its fifth and final season wrapped up in March, Emmy finally seems to be taking notice (the only other nomination to date for the show was one for Best Writing in 2005). I feel a little silly at the moment... I haven't even watched The Wire yet (it's on my list!), but here I am passionately ranting about its merits. I just strongly believe that the Emmys should reward high-quality work, and this list of finalists for the 2 biggest categories seems like a good sign to me that the awards show this year could get back on track.

TOP 10 COMEDY SERIES FINALISTS
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" ("The Bat Mitzvah")
"Entourage" ("The Day F***ers")
"Family Guy" ("Padre de Famila")
"Flight of the Conchords" ("Sally Returns")
"The Office" ("Local Ad")
"Pushing Daisies" ("Pie-lette")
"30 Rock" ("Cooter")
"Two and a Half Men" ("Rough Night in Hump Junction")
"Ugly Betty" ("Something Wicked This Way Comes")
"Weeds" ("Go").

[I actually did not love the "Local Ad" episode. I didn't think it was nearly as funny as "Chair Model." "Something Wicked This Way Comes" was a good episode in an overall not so good season of Ugly Betty. I'd be thrilled with a win for either Weeds or Flight of the Conchords. Or Pushing Daisies, obviously, but I don't think it's got much of a chance for a shortened first season.]

TOP 10 DRAMA SERIES FINALISTS
"Boston Legal" ("The Court Supreme")
"Damages" (Pilot)
"Dexter" ("The Dark Defender")
"Friday Night Lights" ("Leave No One Behind")
"Grey’s Anatomy" ("Freedom, Parts 1 and 2")
"House" ("Frozen")
"Lost" ("The Constant")
"Mad Men" (Pilot, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes")
"The Tudors" (#205)
"The Wire" (Series finale, "30")

[Although I would be pleased if The Wire took this one, "The Constant" was the most beautifully written episode of LOST possibly ever. And seeing as that's my favorite show on tv right now, I hope they can add another award to the one they earned for the first season.]

TOP 10 BEST DRAMA ACTOR FINALISTS
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment ("Paul and Gina: Week 4")
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights ("Last Day of Summer")
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad ("Pilot")
Patrick Dempsey, Grey's Anatomy ("Freedom, Parts 1 & 2")
Michael C. Hall, Dexter ("There's Something About Harry")
Jon Hamm, Mad Men ("The Wheel")
Eddie Izzard, The Riches ("Last Temptation of Wayne")
Hugh Laurie, House ("House's Head")
Denis Leary, Rescue Me ("Babyface")
James Spader, Boston Legal ("The Court Supreme")

[Note: These are all very talented men, but, I'm sorry, no one deserves this award more than Michael C. Hall. That's not my opinion, that's a fact.]

TOP 10 BEST DRAMA ACTRESS FINALISTS
Patricia Arquette, Medium ( "Aftertaste")
Glenn Close, Damages ("Pilot")
Minnie Driver, The Riches ("Dead Calm")
Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters ("History Repeating")
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit ("Undercover")
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace ("Tacos, Tulips, Duck and Spices")
Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men ("The Hobo Code")
Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica ("Faith")
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer ("Manhunt")
Jeanne Tripplehorn, Big Love ("Take Me As I Am")

[OHMYGOSH! It's about time they took notice of McDonnell's depth and amazing-ness. "Faith" was an absolutely mind-blowing episode and showcased her ability like never before. I can't imagine them overlooking her performance, even though I thought "Manhunt" was the best episode of The Closer that I had ever seen.]

TOP 10 BEST SUPPORTING DRAMA ACTOR FINALISTS
Naveen Andrews, Lost ("The Economist")
Bruce Dern, Big Love ("Good Guys and Bad Guys")
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal ("Roe vs. Wade, The Musical")
Ted Danson, Damages ("Jesus, Mary and Joe Cocker")
Michael Emerson, Lost ("The Shape of Things to Come")
Zeljko Ivanek, Damages ("I Hate These People")
T.R. Knight, Grey's Anatomy ("Freedom, Parts 1 & 2")
William Shatner, Boston Legal ("Mad About You")
John Slattery, Mad Men ( "Long Weekend")
Blair Underwood, In Treatment ("Alex: Week 6")
Jake Weber, Medium ("Wicked Game, Part 1")

[And the Emmy goes to...Michael Emerson. (Anything else would be a crime against mankind.)]

TOP 11 (?) BEST SUPPORTING DRAMA ACTRESS FINALISTS
Jane Alexander, Tell Me You Love Me (Episode 10)
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal ("The Mighty Rogues")
Rose Byrne, Damages ("Because I Know Patty")
Jill Clayburgh, Dirty Sexy Money ("The Watch")
Sharon Gless, Burn Notice ("Identity")
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers and Sisters ("Domestic Issues")
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men ("Babylon")
S. Epatha Merkerson, Law and Order ("Bottomless")
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy ("The Becoming")
Dianne Wiest, "In Treatment" ("Paul and Gina: Week ?")
Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy" ("Lay Your Hands on Me")

[Nothing really to say about this one... I have no contenders in this race.]

TOP 7 BEST COMEDY ACTOR FINALISTS (3 have yet to be decided, which probably means that the 5 nominees will come from these 7 guys)
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock ("Rosemary's Baby")
Steve Carell, The Office ("Goodbye, Toby")
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm ("The Bat Mitzvah")
David Duchovny, Californication ("The Last Waltz")
Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies ("Pie-lette")
Tony Shalhoub, Monk ("Mr. Monk and the Naked Man")
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men ("Is There a Mrs. Waffles?")

[I'm completely biased- I think Steve Carell is the funniest person alive- but I still think this one belongs to him.]

TOP 10 BEST COMEDY ACTRESS FINALISTS
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who? ("The Restraining Order")
Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives ("Now You Know")
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty ("Odor in the Court")
Tina Fey, 30 Rock ("Sandwich Day")
Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies ("Bitter Sweets")
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives ("Now I Know, Don't Be Scared")
Eva Longoria Parker, Desperate Housewives ("In Buddy's Eyes")
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, New Adventures of Old Christine ("One and a Half Men")
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds ("Bill Sussman")
Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program ("Bored of the Rings")

[Hmm... This is a tough one. Anna Friel is adorable as the Pie Maker's darling, Chuck. But, Christina Applegate is outstanding as the amnesiac, Samantha Newly. Or, Marcia Cross, whose Bree has become by far the most interesting housewife on Wisteria Lane. I'd be pleased with any of those three.]

TOP 10 BEST SUPPORTING COMEDY ACTOR FINALISTS
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men ("Meander to Your Dander")
Kevin Dillon, Entourage ("The Dream Team")
Justin Kirk, Weeds ("Bill Sussman")
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother ("The Goat")
John Krasinski, The Office ("Branch Wars")
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock ("Episode 210")
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock ("Secrets and Lies")
Jeremy Piven, Entourage ("The Day F***ers")
Fred Willard, Back to You ("Cradle to Grave")
Rainn Wilson, The Office ("Money")

[As much as I looooooove John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson excelled in "Money." Dwight hosting Jim and Pam at Schrute Farms was the most hilarious, enjoyable Office experience of Season 4. Nevertheless, I am aware that the competition here is intense- especially from the 2 Entourage boys, the 2 30 Rock boys, and HIMYM's Harris. As long as that damn Jeremy Piven doesn't win again, I'll survive. Alright! We get it! Ari Gold is hilarious! Can we move on, please?]

TOP 10 BEST SUPPORTING COMEDY ACTRESS FINALISTS
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies ("Girth")
Conchata Ferrell, Two and a Half Men ("Fish in a Drawer")
Jenna Fischer, The Office ("Fun Run")
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock ("The Collection")
Judith Light, Ugly Betty ("I See Me, ICU")
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds ("Risk")
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live ("Tina Fey")
Jean Smart, Samantha Who? ("The Girlfriend")
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men ("Media Room Slash Dungeon")
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty ("Bananas for Betty")

[Chenoweth's Olive Snook is a unique comedic character that certainly merits the award, but I doubt it will be hers. I am pretty much against Two and a Half Men on principle, so I'm hoping for a win for either Jean Smart or Jane Krakowski.]

TOP 11 GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES FINALISTS
Polly Bergen, Desperate Housewives ("Distant Past")
Edie Falco, 30 Rock ("Episode 210")
Vivica A. Fox, Curb Your Enthusiasm ("The Rat Dog")
Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives ("Welcome to Kanagawa")
Annie Potts, Ugly Betty ("Zero Worship")
Carrie Fisher, 30 Rock ("Rosemary's Baby")
Shirley Knight, Desperate Housewives ("If There's Anything I Can't Stand")
Jane Lynch, Two and a Half Men ("Rough Night in Hump Junction")
Amy Ryan, The Office ("Goodbye Toby")
Sarah Silverman, Monk ("Mr. Monk and His Biggest Fan")
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock ("LudaChristmas")

[Both Falco and Ryan rocked (and, hopefully, will continue to rock on 30 Rock and The Office), but Silverman's one episode on Monk was memorable and ginormously funny.]

TOP 10 GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES FINALISTS
Keith Carradine, Dexter ("Morning Comes")
Charles Durning, Rescue Me ("Yaz")
Danny Glover, Brothers and Sisters ("The Feast of Epiphany")
Robert Morse, Mad Men ("Nixon vs. Kennedy")
Peter O'Toole, The Tudors ("Episode 208")
Oliver Platt, Nip/Tuck ("Carly Summers")
Peter Riegert, Damages ("Do You Regret What We Did?")
Stanley Tucci, E.R. ("The War Comes Home")
Glynn Turman, In Treatment ("Alex: Week 8")
Robin Williams, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit ("Authority")

[I've got no clue here, really. If I had to guess, I'd say either Charlie Durning or Peter O'Toole because, you know... they're super old.]

The Real Emmy Winners

I have a few theories about what happened to the Emmys this year. The members of the Academy of Television whatever-their-name-is A) have never watched television in their lives, or B) were abducted by some evil Commie agency and replaced by people that have never watched television in their lives. Or C) I was dreaming the entire thing and when I wake up tomorrow none of this will be real. The only parts of the entire show that I would let myself enjoy were Steve Carell's presentation and Stephen Colbert's and Jon Stewart's presentation. Congratulations, Emmys. Try though you did to ruin everything, you couldn't keep 3 of the funniest people alive from being funny. From Ryan Seacrest to the theatre-in-the-round stage to the mostly insane choices of winners, this was without a doubt the worst awards show I have ever watched. Therefore, I have decided not to accept them. That's right, denial is my only position with regards to this year's Emmys. If anybody asks me the results of a certain category, they will only receive the outcome from my ideal world. Here's how the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards really happened!
Host: Conan O'Brien
Stage: Rectangular (But I'll keep that little trapdoor thing, because that was pretty cool)
Supporting Actor- Comedy: Rainn Wilson, The Office
Supporting Actor- Drama: Michael Emerson, LOST
Supporting Actress- Comedy: Jenna Fischer, The Office
Supporting Actress- Drama: Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Actor- Comedy: Steve Carell, The Office
Actress- Comedy: America Ferrara, Ugly Betty
Actor- Drama: James Gandolfini, The Sopranos
Actress- Drama: Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Comedy Series: The Office
Drama Series: The Sopranos


Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert presenting the award for Best Comedy Actor